I always loved russian poetry, sometimes we took book of poems with my niece and were reading it aloud, learning by heart favourite ones. But it's not the same with poems on english, I do not enjoy it so much, as russian poetry...Wonder why, maybe cuz it's not my native language...From the other side spanish poems sound beatiful, though I do not understand a word. Maybe, it's true that some languages are made for poetry and others are not.

Do you feel like this sometimes?

"I have no idea how it feels to be utterly loved.

I am the place a person falls to when life gets hard.
I am the shoulder, the keeper of secrets, the kindness through their pain.
I am the wisdom, the knowledge, the prophet when everything goes wrong.

I have no idea how it feels to be utterly loved".

Voice

In the morning on the kitchen:
- Pasha, why do you talk to Delya EVERY single day?
- Because I want to hear her voice every day...

Isn't it sweet? :)

Voice...not ideas, words...voice

Conversations

Wanna thank my friend for yesterday conversation about "conversation" and its importance in our life. As we still didn't create anything else to communicate: we express ourselves through words, phrases, sentences. Music and art is more supportive - helping us to express feelings and emotions.

- Conversation is a dialogue, not a monologue.
- Do we really listen? Or just waiting for our turn to talk?
- Are we open to express ourselves? Or expecting person to guess about our ideas and feelings?

Think about it, if you look around you'll understand that your friends are those who you can talk to, and you don't surround yourself with people who are not likely to have interesting conversations with you, or random conversations, or funny conversations. I remember this moment in summer: when I felt that my boyfriend doesn't have empathy anymore and doesn't wanna talk to me as before, I realized: "something is wrong", which turned out to be true.
But I'm happy I have people around for fruitful conversations, for random conversations, for gossips conversations, for complaining conversations, for deep conversations, for touching conversations, for "generating ideas" conversations: who listens, who shares, who cares.

My mom is the best mother-in-law for my future husband for sure, just got sure in it one more time. My parents overall are the best, one more month and I'll be with them. Wish everybody to have kind of relations I have with my mom&dad: open, warm and loving.

Capturing moments

Best way to capture moments are music and photos. I already have my playlist of "moments", so when you listen to it, feeling you had at particular point of time, at that very "moment" you remember is coming back. Bit of a problem with photos for me, as recently I've been not lucky with cameras:) Nevertheless today put one more goal for 2010: get a camera and capture "moments", especially I would love to take photos of people around me: their different expressions on face, emotions, the way they look at you, smile, concentrate, talk - it's beatiful and these are the moments I want to remember.

Emotions

- Why does person need emotions if there's nobody to share them with?
- You can share them with me...

Think before you speak

Plans...

I think I am not good in "structured" posts:) Again random one, had lunch with my friend and we were discussing future plans. Some thoughts not to forget:

Event management, NGO or Social Entrepreneurship? (AIESEC is an option:) )
1,5 months to decide.
What is important for me to decide?
- Ability to be creative - generating new ideas
- People who love what they do, enjoy it and believe in it
- Bringing happiness and changes with what I do
- Being closer to people I love in terms of deciding on destination

Discovered for myself Regina Spektor, love her songs:

[]

Think positive

To the topic of AI elections (between really happy for people who got there now in the second round). Anyway, found it among my notes on IPM:

"February, 17, 2010.
...The worst part is that I don't know if I wanna be in AI. Don't know. And it's really worrying me. I doubt my motivation a loooot...And it's silly to give it up now when you're in the process already and flew all way to Tunisia for the sake of elections. And inside I hope that will not be elected, isn't it weird? Wanna talk about it, talk talk talk, but everybody says that it's cuz I'm nervous and have these thoughts. And I'm not sure if wanna do it and it's for me, if wanna work with Hugo (who most probably will be elected) and if believe in some certain initiatives which are being driven..."
It's funny coincidence how Ur thoughts come to true.
So "think positive" phrase is not without the meaning:)

Time to say good bye?

We started MC to MC Transition on Friday. Strange, how quickly you get used to bunch of people in the flat and feel quite comfortable. The one thing I understood that I can't be inside for a long time and need to go out for a walks, coffee, exhibitions to see something new and change environment. And thing which motivates me a lot is "earrings". I bought three pairs of earrings yesterday and it made my day!
And I realized that in a little bit more than a month not only "MC" chapter will be over in my life, but "Russia" chapter. Will leave this country and don't know when I'm back. 1,5 years made me definitely like at home here, but it's time to move. Here is the list of places which I still wanna visit in Moscow in the upcoming month and say good bye to Russia:

- Zoo
- Tsaritsyno
- Concert hall after Chaikovsky name
- Ostankino
- Kolomenskoye
- Ferry walk on Moscow river

One month

Tomorrow is our Annual Report 2009/10.
Tomorrow team of MC 2010/11 arrives to Moscow.
Tomorrow I'll put on my white dress.
Tomorrow our flat will be full of people: two teams, CEEDers.
Tomorrow we'll celebrate.
Tomorrow I will say: "One month of our term is left."
One month. 30 days. Moments. AIESEC. Talent Management. Transition. Reports. My team. Russia. Moscow. Decisions. Future.