Came back)

Yeap, blogspot is now working for me and I started new chapter in my life called "Sweden and Electrolux", and also it's my birthday today!
So I'm back to my blog!

Can't believe I'm 25) It freaks out somehow cuz of social pressure: people expect you to be stable, with family and succesfull person at that age, at least in Kazakhstan. And I'm not married, have no kids, started internship in Electrolux, so have no clue where will be celebrating my next birthday.
But...I was looking today through random photos of mine since childhood till today. I was looking at all those great moments, people, places and realized that I'm happy with what I have. I look back and do not regret a thing, because I was alwyas trying out new things and was doing them my way. I'm very happy today particularly cuz my friends from all the world congratulate me and with each of them I have special connection and special memories which we share.
I am successful in my own way, without family and stable job, but successfull in living my life the way I want, having people around who will never give up on me and from who I learn so much,having person who I love, experiencing new cultures and enjoying each moment!
Happy Birthday to me!

Closest people in life are not those who you always have fun with, always comfortable, who U're joking all the time with and never had any problems. Those people will always be with you changing one another...
Closest people are those who U loved and hated, had best times and worst times, had conflicts, but forgave, had this awkward silence, but overcame it. And you can allow yourself not to be ideal, allow yourself some weaknesses, cuz they accept and love you they way you are.
But the most difficult part is this phase when person from first description transforms to some phase from second description, and you're afraid...Will you overcome the challenges together or he/she will just leave? Will you be accepted the way you are and will you be able to accept the person with all pluses and minuses?

Unrequited love

So what are you supposed to say to person who says: "I love you", when you don't? Replying is silly, silence is awkward and your friendship is usually ends at that very minute. Sad.

And what to reply back when smb says: "I still love you", and you already don't? You just feel guilty being happy without him/her at that moment.

What are you telling to person who says: "I've been waiting for you", and you didn't think a minute of him/her all this time. And friendship which could happen is over, even have not started.

Testing

Just testing if blogger really working now in Kazakhstan:)
It's best news of the day!
Was missing posting my random thoughts and events!
Welcome back!

Why are the most wonderful things end so soon, you want to catch each second and it passes away so quickly, it was... and now it's gone. And from the other side if problems start, they never end... Maybe it's wrong to say it in AIESEC, but: I'm tired of challenges, I want everything to go smooth and easy, cuz each second I feel like sitting on a powder keg, and want to feel like just sitting on a chair, for example, with no danger of explosion:) At least to have this feeling for a week, so my brain and body has some rest.
I have 11 hours to finish millions of things and sleep a little bit, so gotta stop writing and go handle my "power keg".

Piano

My first and forever love is piano. When I'm stressed, when things goes wrong, when I'm too excited and need to calm down, I wanna sit and touch the keyboard: my lovely black and white keys and play...hear how music fills in the air and feel that I'm creating it - this beauty. Yeap, when I play the piano, I feel like creating something beatiful. And everything what's going on around doesn't matter anymore, only music matters, only stories in Ur head matter, only harmony inside matters.
10 days to touch my keyboard and feel it again - how it is to create beauty...

Remember

A good thing to remember is somebody's got it a lot worse than we do.
So don't be sorry for yourself, don't excuse yourself, don't complain.
Just enjoy, be happy, be free, be grateful, move forward.