Going globally

2011-04-21T08:25:00.003+12:00

You understand that you love not when you hear beatiful words.
Love is not prooves.
It's not jumps froms the bridge or millions of red roses.
It's not writing poems with ideal rythm and not a ring on your finger.
It is simple - when you hold his hand and realize that ready to explode cuz of happiness or
when you spend last money on your mobile just to hear his voice...This is love.

2011-04-12T09:30:00.004+12:00

This video is like my week end in Belgium, very similar feeling:

Came back)

2011-03-25T08:12:00.003+11:00

Yeap, blogspot is now working for me and I started new chapter in my life called "Sweden and Electrolux", and also it's my birthday today!
So I'm back to my blog!

Can't believe I'm 25) It freaks out somehow cuz of social pressure: people expect you to be stable, with family and succesfull person at that age, at least in Kazakhstan. And I'm not married, have no kids, started internship in Electrolux, so have no clue where will be celebrating my next birthday.
But...I was looking today through random photos of mine since childhood till today. I was looking at all those great moments, people, places and realized that I'm happy with what I have. I look back and do not regret a thing, because I was alwyas trying out new things and was doing them my way. I'm very happy today particularly cuz my friends from all the world congratulate me and with each of them I have special connection and special memories which we share.
I am successful in my own way, without family and stable job, but successfull in living my life the way I want, having people around who will never give up on me and from who I learn so much,having person who I love, experiencing new cultures and enjoying each moment!
Happy Birthday to me!

2010-06-08T07:36:00.002+12:00

Closest people in life are not those who you always have fun with, always comfortable, who U're joking all the time with and never had any problems. Those people will always be with you changing one another...
Closest people are those who U loved and hated, had best times and worst times, had conflicts, but forgave, had this awkward silence, but overcame it. And you can allow yourself not to be ideal, allow yourself some weaknesses, cuz they accept and love you they way you are.
But the most difficult part is this phase when person from first description transforms to some phase from second description, and you're afraid...Will you overcome the challenges together or he/she will just leave? Will you be accepted the way you are and will you be able to accept the person with all pluses and minuses?

Unrequited love

2010-06-07T05:14:00.002+12:00

So what are you supposed to say to person who says: "I love you", when you don't? Replying is silly, silence is awkward and your friendship is usually ends at that very minute. Sad.

And what to reply back when smb says: "I still love you", and you already don't? You just feel guilty being happy without him/her at that moment.

What are you telling to person who says: "I've been waiting for you", and you didn't think a minute of him/her all this time. And friendship which could happen is over, even have not started.

Testing

2010-06-06T00:36:00.001+12:00

Just testing if blogger really working now in Kazakhstan:)
It's best news of the day!
Was missing posting my random thoughts and events!
Welcome back!

2010-05-12T06:50:00.003+12:00

Why are the most wonderful things end so soon, you want to catch each second and it passes away so quickly, it was... and now it's gone. And from the other side if problems start, they never end... Maybe it's wrong to say it in AIESEC, but: I'm tired of challenges, I want everything to go smooth and easy, cuz each second I feel like sitting on a powder keg, and want to feel like just sitting on a chair, for example, with no danger of explosion:) At least to have this feeling for a week, so my brain and body has some rest.
I have 11 hours to finish millions of things and sleep a little bit, so gotta stop writing and go handle my "power keg".

Piano

2010-05-06T00:46:00.004+12:00

My first and forever love is piano. When I'm stressed, when things goes wrong, when I'm too excited and need to calm down, I wanna sit and touch the keyboard: my lovely black and white keys and play...hear how music fills in the air and feel that I'm creating it - this beauty. Yeap, when I play the piano, I feel like creating something beatiful. And everything what's going on around doesn't matter anymore, only music matters, only stories in Ur head matter, only harmony inside matters.
10 days to touch my keyboard and feel it again - how it is to create beauty...

Remember

2010-05-05T09:29:00.003+12:00

A good thing to remember is somebody's got it a lot worse than we do.
So don't be sorry for yourself, don't excuse yourself, don't complain.
Just enjoy, be happy, be free, be grateful, move forward.

2010-05-03T10:25:00.002+12:00

I'm a little bit lost right now. My MC term in Russia -this HUUGE chapter in my life with the beatiful team experience, extreme achievements and hard challenges was oficially over 2 days ago. But I'm still in Moscow, in MC flat with part of my team preparing our last project - H4TF conference, so I still feel like working and like being MCVPTM:)
And two many things will be going on with me in May: selection process next two weeks (my next year depends on that), moving home in 2 weeks (still need to manage moving my enormous amount of clothes to Kazakhstan somehow), chairing at conference in my home LC (super exciting), my Vojta coming to Moscow next week (happy happy happy), work in TMU (lots of work).
Right now I feel happy and physically exhausted, like I was keeping myself on high energy level all year long and now when U have no definite next steps, U feel lost, tired, but.... optimistic:) and need time for yourself, finally some time for yourself:)
And I want to write so many things about my MC term, each day, hour, minute which I've lived here with my team and don't know how to put it in words...
When get home will go to mountains, get fresh air and pack my experience I got, yeap I'll do it.
For now one thing to do: excellent H4TF conference for people I've worked with the whole year!

2010-04-26T06:59:00.002+12:00

I always loved russian poetry, sometimes we took book of poems with my niece and were reading it aloud, learning by heart favourite ones. But it's not the same with poems on english, I do not enjoy it so much, as russian poetry...Wonder why, maybe cuz it's not my native language...From the other side spanish poems sound beatiful, though I do not understand a word. Maybe, it's true that some languages are made for poetry and others are not.

Do you feel like this sometimes?

2010-04-24T09:44:00.004+12:00

"I have no idea how it feels to be utterly loved.

I am the place a person falls to when life gets hard.
I am the shoulder, the keeper of secrets, the kindness through their pain.
I am the wisdom, the knowledge, the prophet when everything goes wrong.

I have no idea how it feels to be utterly loved".

Voice

2010-04-23T00:26:00.003+12:00

In the morning on the kitchen:
- Pasha, why do you talk to Delya EVERY single day?
- Because I want to hear her voice every day...

Isn't it sweet? :)

Voice...not ideas, words...voice

Conversations

2010-04-21T21:45:00.004+12:00

Wanna thank my friend for yesterday conversation about "conversation" and its importance in our life. As we still didn't create anything else to communicate: we express ourselves through words, phrases, sentences. Music and art is more supportive - helping us to express feelings and emotions.

- Conversation is a dialogue, not a monologue.
- Do we really listen? Or just waiting for our turn to talk?
- Are we open to express ourselves? Or expecting person to guess about our ideas and feelings?

Think about it, if you look around you'll understand that your friends are those who you can talk to, and you don't surround yourself with people who are not likely to have interesting conversations with you, or random conversations, or funny conversations. I remember this moment in summer: when I felt that my boyfriend doesn't have empathy anymore and doesn't wanna talk to me as before, I realized: "something is wrong", which turned out to be true.
But I'm happy I have people around for fruitful conversations, for random conversations, for gossips conversations, for complaining conversations, for deep conversations, for touching conversations, for "generating ideas" conversations: who listens, who shares, who cares.

2010-04-13T01:18:00.002+12:00

My mom is the best mother-in-law for my future husband for sure, just got sure in it one more time. My parents overall are the best, one more month and I'll be with them. Wish everybody to have kind of relations I have with my mom&dad: open, warm and loving.

Capturing moments

2010-04-12T04:55:00.003+12:00

Best way to capture moments are music and photos. I already have my playlist of "moments", so when you listen to it, feeling you had at particular point of time, at that very "moment" you remember is coming back. Bit of a problem with photos for me, as recently I've been not lucky with cameras:) Nevertheless today put one more goal for 2010: get a camera and capture "moments", especially I would love to take photos of people around me: their different expressions on face, emotions, the way they look at you, smile, concentrate, talk - it's beatiful and these are the moments I want to remember.

Emotions

2010-04-11T08:51:00.003+12:00

- Why does person need emotions if there's nobody to share them with?
- You can share them with me...

Think before you speak

2010-04-10T04:17:00.000+12:00

Plans...

2010-04-10T01:41:00.005+12:00

I think I am not good in "structured" posts:) Again random one, had lunch with my friend and we were discussing future plans. Some thoughts not to forget:

Event management, NGO or Social Entrepreneurship? (AIESEC is an option:) )
1,5 months to decide.
What is important for me to decide?
- Ability to be creative - generating new ideas
- People who love what they do, enjoy it and believe in it
- Bringing happiness and changes with what I do
- Being closer to people I love in terms of deciding on destination

Discovered for myself Regina Spektor, love her songs:

[]

Think positive

2010-04-06T23:24:00.000+12:00

To the topic of AI elections (between really happy for people who got there now in the second round). Anyway, found it among my notes on IPM:

"February, 17, 2010.
...The worst part is that I don't know if I wanna be in AI. Don't know. And it's really worrying me. I doubt my motivation a loooot...And it's silly to give it up now when you're in the process already and flew all way to Tunisia for the sake of elections. And inside I hope that will not be elected, isn't it weird? Wanna talk about it, talk talk talk, but everybody says that it's cuz I'm nervous and have these thoughts. And I'm not sure if wanna do it and it's for me, if wanna work with Hugo (who most probably will be elected) and if believe in some certain initiatives which are being driven..."
It's funny coincidence how Ur thoughts come to true.
So "think positive" phrase is not without the meaning:)

Time to say good bye?

2010-04-05T19:19:00.003+12:00

We started MC to MC Transition on Friday. Strange, how quickly you get used to bunch of people in the flat and feel quite comfortable. The one thing I understood that I can't be inside for a long time and need to go out for a walks, coffee, exhibitions to see something new and change environment. And thing which motivates me a lot is "earrings". I bought three pairs of earrings yesterday and it made my day!
And I realized that in a little bit more than a month not only "MC" chapter will be over in my life, but "Russia" chapter. Will leave this country and don't know when I'm back. 1,5 years made me definitely like at home here, but it's time to move. Here is the list of places which I still wanna visit in Moscow in the upcoming month and say good bye to Russia:

- Zoo
- Tsaritsyno
- Concert hall after Chaikovsky name
- Ostankino
- Kolomenskoye
- Ferry walk on Moscow river

One month

2010-04-01T00:40:00.002+12:00

Tomorrow is our Annual Report 2009/10.
Tomorrow team of MC 2010/11 arrives to Moscow.
Tomorrow I'll put on my white dress.
Tomorrow our flat will be full of people: two teams, CEEDers.
Tomorrow we'll celebrate.
Tomorrow I will say: "One month of our term is left."
One month. 30 days. Moments. AIESEC. Talent Management. Transition. Reports. My team. Russia. Moscow. Decisions. Future.

2010-03-30T19:44:00.005+12:00

Yesterday many people called and wrote asking if everything is ok, cuz of all these events in Moscow. I can imagine how many phone calls and letters people in Moscow received with words of love, as they felt danger of loosing their dear ones and felt grateful that nothing happened to them...
I was talking to one friend in the evening who wrote: "I'm so glad nothing happened to you...I can't even imagine what would I do if something happened. This shows that most of the time we take life for granted". And that's the thing: we can't imagine what would we do if something happened to our dear ones, but maybe sometimes we should think about it not to miss moments, to say words we want to say, to do things we want to do. But we're always afraid of something, afraid to be alive, to be sincere, emotional, afraid to be hurt or misunderstood.
And what if you knew that today is Ur last day? Who would you write to? Who would you talk to? What would you say?

...

2010-03-29T19:31:00.003+12:00

Today is Monday, people are going to work after week end, not thinking that something can happen...We woke up today in got news which shocked me: there were two explosions in metro todays morning, first at around 8 am on and second in an hour on another metro station (Lubyanka and Park Kultury). More than 30 people died, many injured, even more in panic and scared. And I just had this image in my head, that these people got up, had breakfast, were complaining about bad weather and didn't wanna go to work, went to metro and...all gone. It's scary, sad and not fair.
I remember when there were explosions in Moscow in 2004 I could not imagine what people felt here. And now I'm here, having my friends here and those things are happening. I'm just happy that my MC team is ok, here with me, our CEEDers didn't have any meetings in the morning.
Still shocked and hope people who lost their dear ones will find strength and courage to go on.

Spring "wishes"

2010-03-29T08:00:00.003+12:00

I remember once we with my cousin went to wedding salon and I was trying on wedding dresses, and felt like princess. I think it's one of two options to feel like princess: when somebody is treating you like princess or when U have this magnicifent dress on you:) Want to feel like princess again, and as nobody is treating me like princess, decided to go for second, already checked option: go to wedding salon/shop and try on many many beatiful purely white dresses.
Also wanna buy earrings: my "April" earrings, get camomiles and go to Picasso exhibition in Pushkin museum.
Wanna it to be very warm in Moscow to wear my pretty dresses, go to Tsaritsyno and have picnic there.
If anybody wanna join me for my spring "wishes", drop a line :)

Strength

2010-03-27T04:52:00.001+12:00

Time to grow up?

2010-03-14T08:23:00.003+12:00

I always was of opinion that life is great when it is spontaneous: no long term plans, acceptance of what’s coming on the way, random decisions, no regrets. And so far I enjoyed it, doing what I want to do and not looking back or forward. But lately I got this feeling that have no control of my life, and my plans depend on many factors, which I probably creating myself. If to look back everything I was doing, was not planned in advance, but just pumped out at some point and I grabbed the opportunity. And now I also have opportunities ahead of me, but how will it affect my future? And what do I want from my future? What are the most important things for me? I can’t answer these questions now in concrete way. I’m self aware person, know of my strengths and weaknesses, things I like and don’t, but can’t answer these simple questions in my head whether I’m moving in a right direction. Maybe I’m getting old (birthday is coming soon:) ) and my age is calling for stability, who knows :) Or maybe I'm thinking too much, and just need to chill out and let it go...

Me now

2010-03-12T02:05:00.002+12:00

Around the globe

2010-03-11T22:19:00.002+12:00

Yesterday again got great news: my TM girl Natasha is elected to MC Serbia!
So, some statistics:
Regina-MC UAE
Vika-Bahrain
Anya-Macedonia
Lena-Belgium
Katya-Bolgaria
Sasha-Dominican Republic
Jenya-Italy
Natasha-Serbia

And MC elections around the globe are still going on, so sure it's not the final list of Russians going abroad. Feel proud to be part of country which is providing leadership to the network.
And feel proud to see goals LCs are putting now for the next year! AIESEC Russia will definitely be in top 3 with these kind of people!
Now packing to leave to Istanbul and eager to see next generation of AIESEC :)

LC visit

2010-03-10T07:59:00.003+12:00

I'm in Chelyabinsk. Strange people, ambitious LC.

They're different and it's amazing about them.

Dinar is cooking dinners for me, it's snowing, I have amazing meetings with OCPs, EB current and elects. And wanna come back in May for Plan It :) Because loving them more and more...

Expectations

2010-03-04T02:17:00.005+12:00

Why do people get in conflicts and disagreements, get angry on each other, no matter if it's work, personal life or friends? I thought today that it's cuz each one of us has certain expectations towards our team or particular person. We expect people around to act according to what's on our mind, often not telling it to them, but only blaming afterwards, if it's not done the way we were expecting. But is it possible not to have expectations towards smth? Or maybe key to find common solution is setting up expectations from the beginning?

Another thing I noticed even in myself is that often we get trapped by expectations of other people toward us. My family is expecting my to finish with AIESEC this year, move to Almaty and start working, my AIESEC friends expect that one more year I'll be around and continue working in our organization. And you try to manage these expectations, but in the end somebody will stay dissapointed with decision you took. And I myself tend to get frustrated when something doesn't match the way I was expecting, even in small things. I like this saying: "If person doesn't love you the way you expect, it does not mean he doesn't love you at all.". So at least for myself I decided to be aware of this and differences with other people, not to get angry if smth not the way you want, but trying to understand other's thoughts and come to common solution.

...

2010-03-01T11:21:00.003+12:00

I'm sitting now at the Tunisian Airport, as our flight was cancelled and we're leaving one day later.
And I'm super inspired now and motivated as had conversation which stroke me and made me 100% sure of what I wanna do, it showed me why I was not upset at all when was not elected to AI, why I was meant to be on IPM and what will do next year and years after:)
I wanna make people experience what I experienced: world, the best people, challenges, searching and findings.
I wanna make a difference.
I wanna follow my values and bring it to the world.
I wanna AIESEC be organization how I see it: org-n which brings changes.

IPM was amazing, as every conference actually:) AI elections were tough, challenging, enjoyable, as all elections:) But the point is that I had self discovery, which never happened to me, I could face MYSELF and see who I am and what I stand for.
Right now first priority for me is AIESEC Russia, 2 months to finish our term on a high note and leave the best possible for the next team.
And for my passion and dream for the next year is to open AIESEC in new country, to give this opportunity to young people in the country to live this beatiful organization and to give opportunity to another young people to drive it and make contribution. I really mean it, and ready to turn my dream into action. Country which is on my mind now to do it is Uzbekistan. And I'm absolutely serious about it, as never in my life!
Oh, so many emotions, and thoughts, and ideas in my head right now! So will write when at home and have structure in my head:)
And one last thing: I don't know how to express grattitude to all the people who supported me throughout elections and after, I don't just appreciate it, but I'm so lucky to have these kind of people around. Thank you from all my heart!
But sometimes you need to turn to wrong direction in order to find the right one, which actually happened to me:)

Today

2010-02-13T19:54:00.002+12:00

Last things to finish, pack and I'm ready to go...to Tunisia:)
Where will be with my wonderful russian delegation, friends who I missed so much, sun and elections, oh....elections. It seems to be so far for me now. Funny that we talk about future or past, but anyway feel only presence, and future or past is like movie which you watch, where you're hero, but it's like external view on yourself.
Ok, don't wanna continue writing my random thoughts:) Will better write from Tunisia which is coming up today.

Respect

2010-02-11T07:41:00.002+12:00

One of the lessons I've learnt in AIESEC and in my family is - respect.

Respect is one of the values I try to follow, but it doesn't always work out, as it's difficult to always watch yourself and what you say. But at least I respect work of others, their opinion, their choice and do not judge it or react negatively. But observing people around unfortunately realize that it's not common for people, especially in Russia. Even respect for older people does not always work, at least in Moscow. It's seldom when in metro smb will give a place to an old woman, who hardly stands. Or when people listen to you attentively when U speak out. Or they respect your choice and do not judge it. For instance, I always get comments about me smoking and not even kind request not to do it, but strict orders not to smoke in front.

And it's also interconnected with tolerance. I noticed often people judge others, not looking at themselves and what they did.

I believe that life puts everything on its places, and as a bumerang everything returns to us. But one thing I know for sure, that will surround myself with people and will live in the place where there is respect for my choice and what I do.

NEC in Samara

2010-02-09T23:53:00.002+12:00

Our last National Conference...Our legacy...And opportunity to see future leadership body of AIESEC in Russia.

Now I'm abosolutely calm for the next year and sure Russia will keep growing and will get even more ambitious.

From the other side it was conference where I was enjoying every second and following our adorable Chair's principles:

Name

2010-01-30T10:46:00.006+12:00

Till didn't forget, decided to post, not sleeping anyway:) Many people asking about my name, what it means etc. So here it is:

"Nailya" from arabic means "Gift".

In spite of the fact that girls with this name are calm, they're tend to be often stressed. Don't like anger toward them from others. They're principled, proud and pushy. Have strong will. Can stand for themselves and others. Like to be in the center of attention.

Determined in study and work. Distrustful. Reasonable.

They hate liers and dissemblers. Like to dream. Have very good memory. Always glad to help friends, that's why often have lack of time for themselves and solving their problems. Accurate, taking care of themselves. Hard working and independent. Flexible and diplomatic in communication. Those, born in spring love children. Can become good wives.

Name Nailya is mentioned in the Koran.

Actually I also have heard somewhere that my name means "tender":) But I like "gift" interpretation more.

Ok, going back 2 work. Samara - on Sunday, my mam will be happy, she has spent there 5 years studying:)

My learning

2010-01-29T10:42:00.005+12:00

Today I got this question:

"What is your main learning during past 3 months?"

I answered:

- It's ok to be not ideal.

- It's ok to ask for help.

- It's wonderful to learn from others.

In AIESEC we often forget that we're human beings,but not "super cool i-can-do-everything, even not sleep&eat" creatures and need sometimes simple things, but not only results, performance and numbers to achieve.

Also I've heard today "Dust in the wind" song, which is stuck in my head now and reminded me of myself falling in love for the first time. I've also learnt in the past months that falling in love again and again is wonderful, and it doesn't always mean changing your object of love: people, job, interests, but discovering smth new in it. It feels good to be in love, random, not ideal, crazy and be YOURSELF!

New position+randomness

2010-01-28T09:42:00.003+12:00

Good news are: we have MC VP ICX Non-Corporate - lovely and smart Alfiya, who I met in May and then got to know her better when she was FACI on the conference I chaired. Really happy for her and sure she'll bring great results to Russia with her passion and patience!

Don't know if it's bad or good news, but I'm almost officially MCVPTM and Elections:) As 4 round of MC applications will be opened this week. This time I'll use everything possible and impossible to get the best people, maybe smb know some rituals to attract it? :)

Conclusion: Be strategic. Build up Leadership pipeline. Make Recruitment strategic. And think 10 steps in advance so your future successors and successors after successors have the best people on positions.

Example: I think 80% of people we recruited in our term, when I was LCVPTM got leadership positions, and last year MC, NST, EB and this year MC, EB, NST consisted of those wonderful members who we were interviewing, guiding and supporting along their way. I was not super strategic that time, but the success was probably that we delivered right message to them and build up expectations that AIESEC is leadership org-n and this is why people come here by our promo, External events and whole LC culture. Simple, but work:)

and random thoughts of last days:

- TM+Com synergy rocks

- in love with numbers, graphs and statistics. If we could do the same in our life? Like graph of our mood, or statistics of emotions, how would it look like I wonder.

- Knowledge management is super cool thing, use it people!

- Personal Effectiveness is my strength

- I've got a secret and don't wanna share it :) Feels nice to have a secret only for Urself :)

- Don't like people who talk and do not ACT.

- How does it feel like not to be elected? :)

- Will miss my MC team, when term is over....a loooooot

- Check it out: N-AI-L-ya s-A-b-I-rova:) People can find signs everywhere, if they want:)

Don't worry, be happy :)

2010-01-26T00:13:00.007+12:00

We don't like to worry, and don't like stress, being nervous, being impatient. And we get angry when people around worry too much about us, thinking "I'm not a child anymore, I can handle everything myself".

Parents are worrying about us, when we're late, sick, sad, don't write to them, what we gonna be and where, are we happy or no. Friends worry about our life, problems, ups and downs. Boyfriends/girlfriends worry about what's gonna be with us, our relations, our mood, our thoughts...

But isn't it wonderful to have person or people you worry about and who care about you? It means you're not alone anymore, you stretched yourself beyond your own world and selfishness

and let somebody in there. So before getting mad on your parents/friends/loved ones cuz they ask too many questions and worry about each detail: think about your reaction to it. Think that these are the people who don't ask anything back, but just want to know about you and be there to support and help. And don't be afraid to show your affection to them.

And that's the topic about loneliness...We sometimes sit alone and get to the point when wanna scream that nobody understands us and we're all alone in the world. I think it's our decision to feel lonely or no. As at that moment you can pick up the phone and call to somebody and will see that there are people out there who will listen, understand and worry about you:)

I'm not lonely, even when I'm alone. Be wise in making your choice:)

Done

2010-01-23T07:18:00.002+12:00

Application sent and accepted, feel relieved, as all the other AI candidates, I guess:)

And all of a sudden feel back to reality, to my dear AIESEC Russia and work to do here! Tomorrow is deadline for MC applications, pls pls pls be elected ICX:) I want Manana to have the best team history ever had! And I wanna hug my team, and also "strange" guy who supported me so much, Lena who was always there filling in her application and Gasho with "NASA" thing:)

Whatever happens-happens, but I know that there are people around who I love and it's the most important thing in life!

Harmony

2010-01-22T05:55:00.002+12:00

Music indeed plays an important role in my life, as can express feelings you can't put in words.

Last days were extremely stressful due to work overload, family problems, health issues. Today I took day off and was listening to Mozart almost all the day. So thank you, Amadeus Mozart, for bringing harmony back to me:)

2010-01-19T22:41:00.002+12:00

On most of the photos I have, I'm with food or alcohol, or both. What could it mean?

2010-01-19T10:40:00.002+12:00

Today is one of these days when I wanna be weak, helpless, capricious. Just scream, cry, complain. And to have smb who will listen, be patient, support and say to me: "It's gonna be alright. You're the best", or "I'll take care of you, don'worry" or some other phrases, and also hug me tight, make hot tea for me (better green one) and order me to go to sleep, as tomorrow is new day and it will all pass away...

But I'm alone with cold pizza and hot tea, which is black. Not going to sleep and saying all these phrases of motivation to myself in my head. And of course I'm strong overall, so this moment of weakness will be over...tomorrow.

Week end III

2010-01-17T22:38:00.002+12:00

Too many posts this week end. The reason is that this week end I do not talk to people alive, but only virtually and not a lot. So need to express my feelings somehow and blog is the best place to do it.

And I don't like to complain, so it's better to complain here, scream here and go mad here.

It's Sunday morning (afternoon actually, but morning for me), I'm done with General Section and moving now to Specific Questions...and video, video today. I sometimes think who came up to these applications? Idea of application itself is good, but idea to have so many questions there doesn't appeal to me:) Anyway I still enjoy it, as probably it is this time when I can think only about me, my ideas and my vision, which does not happen so often.

And random thought: I listen to Michael Jackson and sad that he passed away, cuz he was indeed talented. He left his music to us, I will leave my application :) And also I will leave my future children to the world, at least couple of thousands changed for better lives, social entreprise, book and bright memories.

Back to work:)

Week end II

2010-01-17T07:19:00.006+12:00

Guys, if U want to apply somewhere, do not hesitate - APPLY! As this process itself, is a huge self discovery. As even when filling in application you reflect upon your previous years, what was challenging, what U've learnt, what is YOUR experience...And it brings back so many memories, and you laugh and cry at the same time. Laugh cuz it was beatiful, cry cuz you can't go back: can't go back to your LC where everything started with interns, parties, problems, people, dreams, achievements, celebrations...Can't go back to internship with again parties, problems, people, dreams, challenges, salsa, ocean...Can't go back to conferences with the same things...And you realize that all these small things, which seemed to be so unimportant that time, brought you here, where you are now.

And you also think about your future: what is important for me, what do I stand for, what do I want to bring, who is important for me, who I can stand for, who I want to bring happiness to?

Life is wonderful:) IT IS.

Week end

2010-01-16T09:53:00.003+12:00

Hello week end, good bye rest!

Nailya, concentrate on:

- AI application

It must be done by Monday morning!

Popularity issue

2010-01-15T06:09:00.002+12:00

I have many friends - girls. Of course I have guys as friends too, but here wanna talk about my girls-friends. Most of them are very pretty, smart, communicative, interesting, found themselves in life in means of career and many other positive features. But...nevertheless many are still single. I talked and talk to them, and 90% of them wanna have relations, loving boyfriend, serenades under the moon and other romantic stuff which comes along with having a boyfriend or at least guys who'll fall on them. They're searching, flirting, dressing up nice and putting on make up, but it doesn't help. They don't become popular. So recently I started asking my friends-boys why some girls are popular and always surrounded with lots of attention and others (who are not worser, but sometimes even better than the popular ones) - not. Relying on man's logic and structure, hoped to hear clear explanation which will solve the problem of loneliness once and forever. So these are the answers I got:

-girl should have "something" in her (what does "something" means nobody can explain)

-girl must be charismatic (lots of my single beauties are very charismatic though)

-girl gotta be open and sincere

-girl gotta have a "secret" (and at the same time to be open and sincere, quite tough)

-pretty or cute (doesn't help - checked)

So what's the secret of popularity? Some special energy person have or fluids he/she spreads around? Still have no clue. Probably problem is in guys who turn off the logic when selecting girls, and looking not at the right ones:) Who knows...If smb knows the secret, pls let me know and you'll have thousands of grateful people around. Or maybe it's just not the time for my friends and life is preparing them for the one and only. Hope this one is true for all of us and someday we will here this song being sung for us-beautiful and smart ladies:):

2010-01-11T09:36:00.003+12:00

I started filling in AI application, and realized that filling in AI application! OMG! 3,5 years ago when I joined AIESEC I even could not think about it, that someday I'll be applying for AIESEC International...And now I am. AIESEC is truly beatiful organization, which make you dream big and act big, which make you not to be afraid of what you want and do it. Ok, gotta go and continue working on the app:) So wish me good luck!

P.S. I'm back to Moscow, excited about work, Xpro, my life overall and what's coming up ahead!

2010-01-04T23:04:00.001+12:00

Still home

2010-01-04T08:10:00.006+12:00

Today we had celebration of my Dad's birthday, he turned 55 years. My dad is tremendously kind and generous man, who achieved a lot in life, and still giving out a lot, has his own principles and values and has influenced my view on certain things many times.We had family and relatives gathered today, my grandmoms, aunts, uncles, cousin, sister, niece. Big, noisy, crazy family. Family which I love and admire. Family which supports and make me smile. Family which I always wanna be with.

with my parents

Few things to myself, so I don't forget about it:

1. Genes (of beauty and forever youth)

2. My parents are role models of love and relations.

3. I wanna have loving husband, three children and piano in the house.

4. Just leave and move forward, if it's not something you want and enjoy.

5. Be courageous and firm and your decisions.

6. Life is so diverse, and there are so many things out there!

I have 5 more days at home. Right now I don't wanna leave at all and get back to reality. But wanna stay here with warmth of house, smiles, sun and mountains :)

on Medeo

Home

2009-12-30T07:34:00.003+12:00

I'm at home...Ready to say these words thousands times to myself and to everybody around. Home, home, home! Almaty is sunny and bright with lots of snow, new law about not-smoking in public places, traffic jams and in New Year mood. My friends are wonderful, kind, warm and happy to see me. Most of them (even AIESECers) became "normal" people with work, husbands or wifes, children, so I experience how life looks like outside of AIESEC :) Family is just family...Mam as always saying that I lost lots of weight in Moscow and look skinny, so she tries to put in me as much food as possible:) Dad is on vacation, watching TV, laughing with his kind voice and making jokes I love so much. My sister has all these party stories from Cyprus, funny and cute, simple and grown up.

My friend dropped today and took me around the city on car to my favourite places: parks, squares, streets... Places which still keep all the memories about me being there and I felt it, but realized that it will not be the same next time. Next time there will be no memories of me there, as I'm trying to catch the past and have nostalgy about times we were young and crazy:) I don't feel myself being here in future: on these streets, in these parks....But still it's extraordinary to be back, I have these bittersweet feelings and wanna get dissolved in the city in my family and friends.

And also piano....my piano and sheetmusic: Mozart, Chopin, Tchaikovsky....I missed U guys:) Playing everyday and need lots of practice to get back to the level I've been to.

Wanna be selfish and romantic, not think about work, but about things which are right here and now.

2009-12-26T12:30:00.000+12:00

According to this statement, I'm' pretty:)

Christmas mood

2009-12-25T10:01:00.003+12:00

World is going crazy with celebrating Christmas, and I'm just going crazy because have too much positive emotions today: grattitude, admiration, inspiration, expectation of wonder, reflection, memories...My friend told me today that Christmas is time for saying "Thank you", so let's try to thank people who inspired me today - Dec.24

First of all, thank you Anya, my lovely girl who we were recruiting when I was LCVPTM in Almaty. People seldom say words of grattitude and thanking for changing smth in them. Today I received this precious gift from her, thank you:) And it took me back to time when I was LCVPTM and everyday had this idea in my head that wanna bring change and contribution, time which defined where I am now.

Thank you Kevin for being born today:) As I became "Kevin's notes fan" when writting birthday wishes on facebook and accidentally saw notes written, which are so sincere, thoughtful and awakening smth in me. What beatiful is that you can express smth each of us has inside with words, it's art. I wanna steal now all these notes and put it on my blog:)

Thank you Dima, Dasha, Dinar and Sten for applying for TM. One of you will be my successor, but anyway I admire each of you. And when received all these applications, was jumping around and felt super hyper excitiment!

Thank you Assel for being far and being so close, for letting me share with you things which nobody knows about and being so strong.

Thank you Vojta...too many things to write here what for:)

So Merry Christmas to you and me! And hope each day will be full of these kind of small, but precious gifts from our loved ones, whether it's Xmas card, song, note or line in chat...

2009-12-23T03:20:00.002+12:00

I'm just happy:)

Today is Tuesday, 5 days and I'm at home. And I have this warm feeling inside me, which runs through all my body, thoughts and feelings.

Happy...

2009-12-18T02:04:00.007+12:00

Was it crazy month? Definitely it was. And it was let's say "building the future" month, as we had National Congress where elected MCP and part of MC team, as well I participated in TMU meeting where we were developing strategies for AIESEC and shaping how org-n will look like in future in TM area. I also decided for myself what I wanna do: run for AI 2010-11. So, good luck to me:)

All this time every day I was excited about something, had ideas, feeling, emotions, was laughing and crying, enjoying, being nervous, running, not sleeping...Intense time with different places, people, events. I still feel like being in a rush, that need to run somewhere, solve smth quickly. For now I have few things on my mind:

- People who became so close to me

- My future successor. Who will it be?

- TMU. Wrap up everything and deliver the results!

- Home. I'm going there in 10 days....First thing will do is to play the piano.

- 2010. What will this year bring to me?

- Doubts...

- Wanna be in love

Elections! Manana - MCP 2010-11 and her new team!

2009-11-16T07:41:00.002+12:00

In AIESEC U meet hundreds of people, some become important part of your life, some U see for 3 days on the conference and never get in touch again.

And if to count how many people I've met in AIESEC, out of AIESEC: who are wonderful and so special, the number will be several thousands probably?....

Also it's magical, how sometimes one 10 min conversation can change a lot on U, and then U never meet this person again. So, if to say about impact each person brought to me, it's better to say: I am who I am because of everyone. And I appreciate and love this "everyone" today. Only need to say it more often:) And advice U to do the same. Cuz we can loose this "special" people, if don't tell them about how we really feel.

Kazakhstan

2009-11-13T02:08:00.002+12:00

I haven't been home for 7 months already.

Besides the fact that I miss my friends, parents, home, I miss the country itself and always checking what's happening over there. From distance I'm being too critical to certain things happening in my country sometimes. But talking to my friend today, understood that don't wanna loose this link to my homecountry and loose my roots.

Not long ago read an article about Christopher Robbins, who wrote the book: "Apples are from Kazakhstan: The Land the Dissappeared". I was positively surprised how this author is describing my homecountry and giving external view on it. Felt proud and happy.

So thought about things which others can learn from us:

- Tolerance. More than 120 ethnic groups, different religious groups living in Kazakhstan side by side. Looking at the world which has conflicts based on religion, ethnicity, ideology, we're an example of patience, opennes and acceptance of differences.

- Hospitality. I guess tolerance is the reason of people's hospitality and friendliness. For my family it has never been a problem to host people, even they didn't know them. Not just hosting, but making everything so person feels himself/herself comfortable at our place. I just remember a moment when intern from Poland stayed at our place for a few days. And my mom kept asking him what he likes to eat, to be able to cook especially for him:) And there are plenty of these small moments which make you feel like at home, being in Kazakhstan.

-Patriotism. In Russia I don't hear very often that people love their country, probably they just don't show it. But we show it, like to talk about our country: how wonderful it is and always inviting to visit us.

-Innovative approach. We're not afraid to try new things or implement smth which works in another countries. There's this a program "Bolashak" which allow young people to go study abroad, it just prooves that we're ready to try new things and start it up. Even the university where I was studying (KIMEP) is an example of it: all the edu is on english, we have professors from different countries, the system of edu is completely different: credit system, online registration etc.

So, welcome to Kazakhstan!

PS [I'll be there for New Year, so feel free to come:) ]

2009-11-06T06:32:00.002+12:00

I'm not going to FallCo to Czech Republic:( I sometimes wonder: U wanna change, bring impact and develop, but people in governmental structures do not care about it at all! You can fight, scream and demand, it doesn't change a thing. And also being from Kazakhstan in Russia is making things more complicated for me: embassies wanna check each word in my application and always don't like smth, in the airports and trains I have my documents being checked SO carefully that I feel like did smth bad...So FallCo was also cancelled due to these reasons. It just stresses me out now, cuz I feel helpless and small in this situation, as can't do anything about bureacracy and my citizenship.

And I think I'm just tired overall, too much stuff going on, I haven't been home for more than half a year and have a race: moving, solving smth quickly, having too much emotions, ideas, thoughts, not having time for myself. Don't know.

Novosibirsk

2009-11-05T07:33:00.002+12:00

Finally I'm in Siberia:)

Novosibirsk. Cold. Snowing. Beatiful.

I arrived more than a week ago for Regional Exchange Conference, where was agenda manager and FACI for Leadership Track. Discoveries and enjoyment are two words which describe these conference the best for me: jokes by Jenya (our chair), the most active learners ever-delegates, random and professional FACIs, Marina with "excellent" time mngmnt skills, creative Egor, smart Jenya, drunk Dima....my MC team...

Now I'm on visit in @ NSTU, tomorrow another LC visit will start with @ NSU.

Visits is another chapter in "Novosibirsk" story.

I just love what I do, and falling in love with it day by day.

And I'm confident now in my choice. And trying to write the book....

Leadership

2009-10-24T02:05:00.001+13:00

Self motivation :)

Too much

2009-10-23T03:47:00.002+13:00

Finally, finally we released MC 10/11 Elections Applications!!! Wohoo!

I'll tell to the next Election Manager that one day is not enough to put it all together :) And he or she gotta plan more time for it :)

Anyway I understood yesterday, that work in MC never ends, there is always smth to do...So now my goal for November to stay focused and learn how to put right priorities. Cuz goal for October: self-discipline eventually worked out.

It will be messy post, just wanted to write something:

I was chairing AIESEC Induction Seminar in Saratov. Oh, gosh, I miss all LC work, when U see people in front of you, not on the other side of your laptop. When U see happy faces, ready to do smth (though they still don't know what), FACI team -who are worrying about each session and detail. Yeap, Saratov was amazing, fell in love with them. And of course unexpected things happened as well...This is MC:) "Super-flexibility" is our motto. I was supposed to return on Tuesday to Moscow and already had tickets. But on Sunday evening got a call from my MC, that MUST be in Moscow on Monday for Russia Day (feedbacks for LCs SONA). I look at schedule and see that there is a train in 20 minutes. There are 2 cash boxes opened with huuuuuuge line, so this variant didn't work out, as people in Russia are not likely to understand in these kind of situations. So I see the next one in 40 minutes, which has more expensive tickets and I don't have money with me :( But it didn't stop us, as my lovely FACI team was there, so we bought ticket for me 5 minutes before the train left and in the morning I was happily in Moscow, rushing to my MC. 3 days with not shower didn't influence my performance, so all work is done and there is more to come. Next week will be totally crazy: Novosibirsk, Conference, LC visits, TMU, FallCo preparation....

After all these adventures and recalling another ones, idea to write a book rose. So...stay tuned. I have a thrilling, strange, amazing co-author, so we'll make it work:)

And for now, apply for MC 10/11 AIESEC in Russia to write your story! It's worth, can tell U on my own experience!

2009-10-07T06:41:00.003+13:00

Awesome choir from Belgium, reminded me of times in my musical school.

Is it a sign of getting old?! memories and nostalgy:)

Change

2009-10-06T04:20:00.005+13:00

One person told me not so long ago: “Mmm, you have changed…”.

Kind of philosophical statement, as our world is constantly changing, has been for centuries and will continue to change. The same is for people: we change physically, emotionally, intellectually every day, sometimes not noticing it. If change is “permanent”, I ask myself a question: Why do people, organizations resist to change, try to stop it and put limits?

Even if to look at people in AIESEC, who are supposed to be open to changes and tell on every corner that they’re seeking for challenges and new stuff, when it comes to an action, some still find millions of excuses, barriers, logical explanations not to step up for change. It’s tough for people to accept change, cuz it breaks our routine, stability, takes away the “known”. They resist, but sooner or later change occurs, and people find out that they just wasted energy trying to stop smth and missed opportunities behind. Just imagine what would be with our world if there was no change? No planes, no internet, no technologies, no art, no us as we are now… Imagine what would happen to AIESEC if there was no change?

I personally believe that in every change there is a positive effect, even sometimes we don’t see it in a sudden.

So if you could change one thing in your life today what it would be?

What are you doing to make it happen?

Impact IC made on me are these thoughts about changes in our organization and change which AIESEC is able to make and I can bring personally. I'm still figuring out what are the actions I gotta take for that, but for sure my attitude to certain things and the way I'm doing it have changed since I got back to Moscow.

So be positive and embrace change, which is coming up on your way!

Qs

2009-07-27T01:45:00.003+13:00

Need right questions to give right answers myself.

Does anybody know the art of asking right questions?

Just understood, that applying it not in Aiesec is quite difficult.

Question of the day:

What do I WANT in life?

love

2009-07-24T00:39:00.000+13:00

when I saw you, I was afraid to know you, when I knew you I was afraid to like you, when I liked you I was afraid to love you, and now I love you I'm afraid to lose you,so hold on tight and don't let go, this may only happen once so don't let it pass you by...

2009-07-23T07:20:00.002+13:00

Just miss my friends. And Need them. Will meet on of them soon, counting days towards it.

Inspiration

2009-07-21T18:42:00.004+13:00

It made me think:

"We should be taught not to wait for inspiration to start a thing. ACTION always generates inspiration. Inspiration seldom generates action".

And in AIESEC we're always waiting that somebody will come and inspire, motivate. And I expect it too: get inspired from smb and then excusing myself if do not get it, though it's my responsibility to get inspired or motivated. Just thought about few ACTIONS which inspire me:

playing the piano
drinking coffee with smart person:)
swimming, jumping, dancing - moving :)
reading "Le Petite Prince"
walking under the rain
making random stuff
working in TM

Firmly decided to make a list of small things which makes my happy and look at it when demotivated to get inspired from the ACTIONS!

Historical homeland

2009-07-19T04:47:00.004+13:00

"Uchnuchmak" - traditional Tartar food

Strange tendency that usually write to blog after trips or conferences. It can be explained by fact that U change places, people and feel change around and inside, so have this wish to share Ur emotions.

On Wednesday we came back from trip to Tatarstan together with Rus or Ruslan:) For those who don't know my ethnical background is Tartar, all my grandparents are from Tatarstan, so I felt excited about the trip. We've visited only two cities there:

Naberezhnie Chelny, where were facilitating Regional Train the Trainer conference and

Kazan - capital of Tatarstan Republic

If to compare with how I feel in Moscow, there I felt like at home - as have lived there since childhood.

Naberezhnie Chelny is industrial city, which is about 75 years old. The city itself is not striking U with beauty or history, but people who we met there showed us the other side of it: we were on roofs, were undeground, saw amazing river Kama, felt hospitability of people there. Two guys we met first day actually challenged me with their attitude and behaviour. They've lived in Chelny for all their life and still find their smth new and interesting: real explorers. I always thought that curious and brave people travel, change places etc. But these two guys are more exploreres and discoveres than me, just living in one place and still having this fresh view on city and things. It just again made me think (my forever question) about settling down or travelling...Maybe we should just have right attitude and lifestyle, so wherever U're it's gonna be bright and colorful?

Kazan, from the other side, is completely different. More than 1000 year of history, bigger, more light, reminds Europe at some point. I for sure would like to come back there and live for some time. It's spectacular place!

So that was about places...But of course the small moments and adventures we've gone through made the trip so memorable. For example we went hitchhiking from Kazan to Moscow - it's about 800 km distance, climbing to 3 meters height balcony during night or swimming in freezing water at night. The conference itself with tartar hospitality, crazy AIESEC spirit and learning. LCs which we've visited with their problems and dreams... Thank you guys for making time in my "historical homeland" unforgettable and of course thank U, Rus for everything what's written in blue copy book:)

In Tartar traditional hats - "tyubiteiki", Kazan

Going Globally?

2009-06-28T23:34:00.004+13:00

Yesterday we've spent wonderful evening walking around Moscow, I start to love this city: bright, contrast, big, unexpectable. But the point is not in Moscow:) AIESEC Moscow interns joined us yesterday: USA, Mexico, India, Brazil... I felt like I'm back to times when was in LC Almaty and we had this totally crazy summer with our dear interns and U could feel this international spirit in every detail. And I realized that miss it...miss this feeling of going globally, getting to know other cultures, talking to people in english about everything in the world: your countries, stereotypes, places, people. I miss it, terribly miss it. Probably that's why waiting for IC in Malaysia: another country, hundreds of people from different countries.

I guess I got addicted to travelling and different cultures when was in USA - mixing pot of cultures and traditions. And now thinking of my AIESEC path, realized that I decided to stay and go further after got to You Can in Poland, so this internationalism actually was one of the reasons I've stayed.

I kind of don't feel it in MC right now - international spirit, and the reason is not that we speak russian language.

I thought about my friends now, really close friends - they all travel, experienced a lot in means of adventures around the world. I guess our common thirst for going around the globe and understanding of how it is to live in another country created connection between us somehow as well, so we understand each other and can share things which people who have not lived abroad will not understand completely.

Mmm, don't think I'm stressed out about that:) There are thousands of other things which make me happy, but this idea of going globally makes me think what I want to do next year...settle down or go further?

2009-06-22T23:01:00.002+13:00

Lots of interview last week: first for NST candidates and after for ProMS FACI candidates.

So we've formed these two teams!

With NST we'll be working all year long, I'm really happy that Lena and Oxana are there (TM forever:) )!

And FACI team for ProMS seems to be amazing as well.

Maybe it's selfish, but I'm SOOOO happy that my dear Stotskiy is there.

I met this crazy Slovak more than 2 years ago on ITC, we were in one homegroup and since then consider each other just relative souls, though haven't seen each other all this time. It's strange how U can see the person and after few words understand that whatever happen and wherever U're, he'll be there for you, supporting, cheering up, sharing and just chatting about some stupid stuff. And U feel so easy and natural, don't have to pretend. And this feeling is not dissapering with time or distance, it's just here with U all the time. And now we gonna meet after more than 2 years - in Kaliningrad:) He's coming as he promised 2 years ago :)

It's just one of examples as conference brings people U would never meet together and creates this magical relations - friendship...

SumMEET/ProMS

2009-06-12T03:03:00.003+13:00

Dreaming of Kaliningrad:)

...

2009-06-11T09:14:00.003+13:00

Just feel pure happiness...don't know why, nothing special happened today. Maybe it's cuz we finally got hot water back at home?:) Or cuz I saw that one person values me and misses, though he's far away? Or it's this amazing weather in Moscow today?

Don't wanna it to be over: like a sun inside and nothing else matters!

TM...

2009-06-05T09:11:00.002+13:00

Writting now feedbacks on 16 Man Power Plans... and initiatives in TM in planning tool. For some it can seem to be boring, but I understood again how much I LOVE my job and TM, love it and will always love. And ready to read these MPPs every day:) and give feedbacks, and talk to my TMs, and manage all these TM processes, make conferences...

so my status for today: in love with TM:) it's really not position - TM is our vision:)

From home to home

2009-06-02T06:34:00.003+13:00

Just got back to Moscow, and when was in the airport thought: "Good to be home again" :)

Two weeks ago I had the same thought when landed to Almaty airport: "Good to be home again" :)

Can a person have two homes, or its splitting of personality?

Previous two weeks were full of speed and life for me...Need to see everybody, do MC work, visit favourite places and many many more. Highlights:

salsa...love it
don't get too drunk, or U'll get on TV
nothing is impossible: even free taxi or jokes over U from radio :)
people change... a lot
don't be afraid to talk to unfamiliar people, they can become special part of your life
try new things, even watching movie U would never watch
drink in the park, it's fun and cheap
spend time with Ur family&relatives, it's the best way to relax
don't plan your day, something will come up eventually and it will be the best XP
miss people who are far away - start valuing them much more
skype is the greatest invention :)
people are the main value, no matter what

Now back to Moscow, to my boyfriend, to my dear MC team...feels good and sad at the same time, as don't know when will be in Kazakhstan again with my family, friends, LC, mountains, streets, parks, full buses, sunny weather, crazy parties and this atmosphere which surrounds you in Almaty.

2009-05-11T06:34:00.002+13:00

Random thoughts

2009-05-10T22:51:00.004+13:00

Just got back after intense Planning Conference in Ufa and purely crazy team days with our MC team... Don't wanna repeat all the words about great people I've met there, wondeful time with members of AIESEC in Russia, the best of the best TM team, beatiful Ufa and bunch of ideas about my MC term!

I guess this time for me was time of discoveries:

discovering AIESEC in Russia. Now I feel part of AIESEC here and ownership for the people who I'm gonna work with and work for. Looking at people from different Local Committees, their passion for what they do and planning to do next year is the best motivation I could ever have!

discovering my MC team. In the previous post I was writing about my team and Storming time we were through that time. We not just overcome it, but became so close as people. Especially I'm grateful to Manana,Lena and Rus who were a positive surprise for me and shared with me so many funny moments, lifetime memories:)

discovering myself. How I can behave in certain situations, what I can contribute and what I gotta imrpove in myself. So now I know what to work on.

discovering Ufa city. I was enjoying my time there, as Ufa reminds me a lot of my hometown Almaty, even the same buildings. The atmosphere of the city: friendly, hospitable, calm and sunny was like a break after crazy Moscow life.

Today I was going after the train station to my appartment, looking at green trees and bright sun, and was thinking about connection between people... I got connected to people who I even didn't notice, and still logically can't explain why, we just got connected, though we're so different and never knew each other.

Probably I should just walk my path and look forward, but not back, just feel and embrace experience which is coming on my way. so Let it be, as Beatles sing:)

Collecting a puzzle called Team

2009-04-25T02:42:00.004+13:00

In 6 days I'll oficially start working in AIESEC Russia, which means that May 1 oficially will be birthday of new TEAM - MC Russia 2009-10.

8 individuals...8 differents backgrounds, lives, interests, aspirations, hobbies, tastes, ideas...

Will it be easy? No. Will it be rewarding? Hope yes.

Today sitting in Moscow metro when going from MC flat to my appartment I was thinking about team theories and my past experiences when working and managing different teams.

Probably right now we're more referring to Tuckman's team theory based on:

Forming
Storming
Norming
Performing

I looked over the description of each stage and recognize every word of it in our behaviour:) First we were confused, but at the same time positive, trying to figure out what is relevant for us, having long discussions, but accepting each other.

Few days ago we got to Storming stage and for me it's challenging, but amazingly interesting, as I don't remember myself being in intense Storming stage in my previous teams. Usually we smoothly skipped it and started performing. So for me personally, it's a time of learning and re-considering some things. These are some statements which explains Storming:

The honeymoon is over.
The silent leaders may be clashing for control of the group.
People disagree and may blame the team concept, saying it doesn’t work.
Management needs to do a lot of coaching to get people to work past their differences.

I especially liked the phrase, which describes Storming stage "The honeymoon is over" :)

All the above means that team is not effective in completing the tasks, or it takes much longer than it could, at the same time it's the beginning for understanding each other before team members get to Norming stage.

I really hope we'll pass, as a team, storming stage during our National Conference, but it requires commitment from all team members. For me it's not easy to keep silence sometimes, stay calm and not get irritated, but I'm definitely trying to overcome myself (though sometimes it still doesn't work:) ), so we'll become not Storming, but PERFORMING team!

And also it was quite interesting to look over Belbin Team Inventory and actually recognize some features of my team mates there! That means we can actually complement each other and make our weak sides strong ones, which is a key to success! I'd compare process of team forming to collecting puzzle: first you get mad, cuz it doesn't work, then you see some results, see framework and complete goal, start putting it together and in the end when puzzle is done, look back and think that it was fun and easy! We're like puzzles, trying to fit, but now figuring out where and how, at last it will be complete and bright picture:)

Another TeaM I'm gonna be in upcoming year is Talent Managament team of LCVPTMs, but it's another story and different style of work. So waiting for National Conference to meet them and see which stages of team forming we gonna have:)))

In the end I just feel like quoting the following:

"Everything is okay in the end, if it's not ok, then it's not the end".

So whatever problems we can have, it's ok:)

2009-04-21T03:29:00.002+13:00

Today I found out that one of my friends is applying for MCP after not being active in AIESEC for 3 years... I always admired him for the fact that he was not afraid to be himself, no matter what other people will say! Some will think it's easy to be yourself, no matter what... But I thought about myself and people who surround me and understood that it's not easy: we always adapt, trying to be good so everybody loves us, afraid of critics, scared to death to loose our friends, feel nervous when changing places. All of that makes us to hide some of our features sometimes and say things, which people want to hear, but not the things we want to say.

So step which my friend decided to take really inspired me to stay loyal to myself! Nobody expected him to apply, nobody knows motivation he has for it, but what I'm sure about is that he's true to himself and doesn't care about what others will say about it, but about importance of it to him!

These actions made by people around me, challenge and make me think about myself and upcoming year in AIESEC Russia! Now I really understood how important it is to stick to the values you have and not to be afraid to LIVE and ACT!

Thank you Max:)))

EuroXpro XP

2009-03-30T20:48:00.002+13:00

After 2 weeks, I'm finally home...

It's sounds strange that I already call Moscow - my home:)

As every conference - Xpro was also special for me.

First of all, cuz it's the beginning of my term in MC Russia, and first time in my life I was represnsting Russia, even put on dress which didn't match with my non-russian face:)

Secondly, I met my family - AIESEC in KZ, met my dear Aika, my sister Lilya...it was reconncection time for us. I remember how we were working in LC Almaty altogether, growing and dreaming big and now look at these people and see how much they changed and grew, I'm so proud of them.

Third, it's Romania...It was wonderful to come back, I was in Romania 2 years ago on International Trainers Congress and still consider that conference to be the best in my life. Have so many memories connected to Romania, so coming back was amazing!

And of course it's all these small moments which we've lived with people from Xpro, my Russian delegation - will forever stay in my memory...

I still have mess in my head, so many thoughts, emotions and feelings about me, my future team, term, friends...So now need some time to think, calm down and wrap up my experience.

Again:)

2009-02-14T21:50:00.000+12:00

ok, this time I will try not to be lazy and actully lead my blog:)))

As have many thoughts, changes and things to share...

And let it be symbolic that I started it on St. Valentines Day!